With 46% of the American population suffering from mental illness at some of point in their lives, the family members of these individuals are also seriously affected. Considering that the United States currently has the highest rate of diagnosed bipolar disorder and the expectation that Alzheimer’s patients will double by the year 2025, much of our population lives with someone who is mentally ill.
If you find yourself in this position, particularly if you are a caregiver, you should know the ways you can keep yourself mentally and physically healthy in the process. By doing so, you not only benefit yourself but the other members of your family, as well.
Take Time for Yourself – this is one of the most obvious points and at the same time, the most commonly neglected. Just because you’re responsible for or living with a person who requires care, it doesn’t mean that you should give so much that you’re not caring for your own needs. Simple acts like taking a daily walk alone, meeting up with a friend regularly, attending church or other faith based service or going to the gym can provide refreshment and encouragement. Staying on top of eating habits and your personal health issues (keeping yearly exam appointments, taking medications properly, etc) not only helps you stay healthy, but it also allows you to be a better caregiver or family member, benefiting everyone.
Expect to Feel Guilty and/or Resentful - it’s normal to feel guilty when someone else is suffering. If your time is consumed by that person’s needs, then resentment could also pop up. When these emotions occur, acknowledge them for what they are and address them so you can move on. For some people, journaling provides an outlet for releasing these emotions in a healthy way. You could also share them with a friend or other family member who is aware of your situation and supportive. If you find the emotions overwhelming you, a support group or counseling may also be very beneficial.
Educate yourself, without becoming obsessive – it’s vital that you understand as much as possible about the mental illness affecting your loved one, but don’t overdo it. You need to have other interests on which to focus. Also, remember that your knowledge won’t cure the person; it will provide you with a better understanding of why that person is behaving in certain ways and hopefully help you realize that you’re not responsible for your loved one’s actions.
Develop a support system – typically we think of people sitting in a circle pouring out their hearts when “support” is mentioned. Actually, there are many different types of support including other family members, friends, clergy, church members, physicians, formal and informal groups and mental health professionals. Support groups may be very useful because they tend to include others who are in similar positions. Ideally, your support system should not consist of one individual or resource. A varied support system, including both professional and personal resources, typically works best.
Seek counseling, when you need it - mental health professionals work with family members and caregivers of mentally ill patients all of the time. You don’t have to be diagnosed with a mental illness in order to benefit from professional counseling. You may not need it often, but scheduling time to work through issues with a professional on a regular basis could prevent later issues. Let the insight and training of professional counselors benefit you as you work so hard to care for you loved one.
Don’t be embarrassed - with mental illnesses such as substance abuse, alzheimers or autism that may be obvious to the outside world, it’s easy to feel embarrassed. As the spouse, child, parent or other caregiver, you have to remember that you’re not responsible for that behavior. You can’t control your loved one’s responses to the world anymore than you can control the world’s responses to your loved one. Remember that you are demonstrating your love in the one of the greatest ways possible by being supportive and providing care. Many people, no matter how they respond, realize that and even when they’re uncomfortable, admire your efforts. As well, your response in situations may dictate how other people respond. If you’re confident and caring, without demonstrating embarrassment, you’ll find that other people are more likely to follow your lead.
As you care for your loved one, it’s most important to remember that you’re not alone! It can seem like a very lonely position at times. Many people are in the same situation, dealing with the same issues. There are multiple types of support, and while you may need to seek them out, they’re there for you.
You have the personal benefit of receiving mental health support through your Employee Assistance Program. Call your EAP today at 1-800-899-3926 if you need help dealing with the mental health aspects of financial struggles.
According to Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (MADD), at least 50 percent of all holiday traffic fatalities involve alcohol. If you are hosting a gathering of co-workers, friends, or family this holiday season, follow the precautionary recommendations below to help ensure the safety of your guests, both during and after your party:
Researchers studying gratitude report that practicing gratitude can improve your health and well-being. Robert Emmons, Ph.D. and colleagues at UC Davis randomly divided study participants into three groups, each which made weekly entries in a journal. One group had to write about five things they were grateful for. Another group was assigned to write about five things they found annoying or irritating. And a control group was asked to list five events that affected them in some way. At the end of the three-week study, those who focused on gratitude reported feeling better about their lives overall, were more optimistic about the upcoming week and reported fewer health problems when compared to the group that focused on hassles, or the control group.
